Well let us start with Stephanie's labor nightmare.
7:00 am – Arrive at the hospital and expect a pleasant stay filled with jet-tub whirlpool relaxing, swirling goodness, wonderful TV watching, book reading, long conversations and maybe some nice meals delivered to us.
7:05 am – We find out that Stephanie has high blood pressure and will need to be put on Magnesium
7:10 am – We find that due to the magnesium she cannot get out of bed so, “No Jacuzzi for you”!
7:30 am – due to the planned nature of this birth, Pitocin is used to induce labor (turns out that it makes contractions very painful). This of course prompted Stephanie to ask, “When do I get my epidural”? The nurse’s reply was, “well honey they don’t call it labor for nothing”.
8:00 am – contractions are getting pretty bad but due to the nurse’s comment Steph is powering through. She is dilated to two whole centimeters. Whoopidy doo!!
9:00 am – Stephanie’s still a heart attack waiting to happen, she is still in pain from contractions, and still at only two centimeters.
11:00 am – Steph can no longer stand the pain of the contractions and asks the nurse, “I am in a lot of pain, can’t you please give me something”? Now this is the odd part, the nurse replies, “Sure honey, all you needed to do was ask”. At this point I am sure Steph will kill this woman.
11:30 am – The anesthesiologist comes in and gives Steph an epidural, much to my displeasure, I almost pass out. What’s up with that? I just pawn it off on lack of breakfast.
12:30 pm – Stephanie can still feel every contraction, the anesthesiologist is gone to lunch and he is nowhere to be found.
1:00 pm – the anesthesiologist finally returns, Steph is having terrible pain from the forced contractions. They check dilation and she is at 4cm. The second epidural works like a champ and Steph is now fully and completely numb from the waste down.
1:30 pm – Stephanie is sickened by the epidural and pukes, they are now rumbling about how baby is not dropping very fast, how this is taking longer than expected and how her blood pressure has dropped to 80 over 40! Quick, stab her leg with a giant shot of ephedrine! Steph takes a two inch needle to the leg all the way in without even batting an eyelash. If I had any doubts as to her epidurals potency, it was gone now.
1:45 pm - Ok, Steph’s heart rate is now 143 and Mason’s has jumped from 150 to 205. This is redline for a baby and not very good for Steph. Not only that but even though Steph has a wicked high resting heart rate her blood pressure is still really low. Stephanie pukes again… I am cleaning it up when I am caught by the nurse and she starts to give the third degree about how long this has been happening, how many times etc… I just thought it was normal so I just cleaned it up. Turns out it is not so normal.
2:00 pm - Steph is sick for a third time so the nurse decided to give her Phenergan to stop the puking and it does. It also puts her out like a light. Sunny and I have an hour long conversation about life and death, politics, the world economy, how to solve world hunger. You know, the standard stuff. This is over Steph’s limp comatose body.
5:00 pm – Steph wakes up to hear she is now at 8cm. She gets real unexcited and falls asleep. Meanwhile, the nurse calls the doctor to come in.
6:00 pm – Steph wakes to hear she is at 10cm and should begin to push. She does with every ounce the Phenergan will allow her to give. Mason does not budge one bit.
8:00 pm – The doctor has arrived and Steph has been pushing for the last 2 hours non-stop. He announces that the baby… is still not coming out. He uses a suction cup to grab Mason’s little head and yank him out by force….
8:20 pm – The doctor has unsuccessfully tried to yank Mason to the crowning stage with ZERO results. He is frustrated and Stephanie is completely spent. She has no more to give. The doctor is practically cursing at the uselessness of this new fangled suction doohickey. He ops to use forceps and breezes the option past Steph, who replies, “yes, do it, do anything I don’t care. Get him out”.
8:25 pm Mason Jacob Bennett is brought forcefully into the world. It is at this point Stephanie realizes that the epidural did not numb the last two inches for the birth canal. OUCH!
8:30 pm Steph is reunited with Mason and myself (I was filming Mason while he was with the nurses). Stephanie now wishes to drink juice like a camel who has not seen water in a year due to an insatiable thirst. We are now a happy family.
7:00 am – Arrive at the hospital and expect a pleasant stay filled with jet-tub whirlpool relaxing, swirling goodness, wonderful TV watching, book reading, long conversations and maybe some nice meals delivered to us.
7:05 am – We find out that Stephanie has high blood pressure and will need to be put on Magnesium
7:10 am – We find that due to the magnesium she cannot get out of bed so, “No Jacuzzi for you”!
7:30 am – due to the planned nature of this birth, Pitocin is used to induce labor (turns out that it makes contractions very painful). This of course prompted Stephanie to ask, “When do I get my epidural”? The nurse’s reply was, “well honey they don’t call it labor for nothing”.
8:00 am – contractions are getting pretty bad but due to the nurse’s comment Steph is powering through. She is dilated to two whole centimeters. Whoopidy doo!!
9:00 am – Stephanie’s still a heart attack waiting to happen, she is still in pain from contractions, and still at only two centimeters.
11:00 am – Steph can no longer stand the pain of the contractions and asks the nurse, “I am in a lot of pain, can’t you please give me something”? Now this is the odd part, the nurse replies, “Sure honey, all you needed to do was ask”. At this point I am sure Steph will kill this woman.
11:30 am – The anesthesiologist comes in and gives Steph an epidural, much to my displeasure, I almost pass out. What’s up with that? I just pawn it off on lack of breakfast.
12:30 pm – Stephanie can still feel every contraction, the anesthesiologist is gone to lunch and he is nowhere to be found.
1:00 pm – the anesthesiologist finally returns, Steph is having terrible pain from the forced contractions. They check dilation and she is at 4cm. The second epidural works like a champ and Steph is now fully and completely numb from the waste down.
1:30 pm – Stephanie is sickened by the epidural and pukes, they are now rumbling about how baby is not dropping very fast, how this is taking longer than expected and how her blood pressure has dropped to 80 over 40! Quick, stab her leg with a giant shot of ephedrine! Steph takes a two inch needle to the leg all the way in without even batting an eyelash. If I had any doubts as to her epidurals potency, it was gone now.
1:45 pm - Ok, Steph’s heart rate is now 143 and Mason’s has jumped from 150 to 205. This is redline for a baby and not very good for Steph. Not only that but even though Steph has a wicked high resting heart rate her blood pressure is still really low. Stephanie pukes again… I am cleaning it up when I am caught by the nurse and she starts to give the third degree about how long this has been happening, how many times etc… I just thought it was normal so I just cleaned it up. Turns out it is not so normal.
2:00 pm - Steph is sick for a third time so the nurse decided to give her Phenergan to stop the puking and it does. It also puts her out like a light. Sunny and I have an hour long conversation about life and death, politics, the world economy, how to solve world hunger. You know, the standard stuff. This is over Steph’s limp comatose body.
5:00 pm – Steph wakes up to hear she is now at 8cm. She gets real unexcited and falls asleep. Meanwhile, the nurse calls the doctor to come in.
6:00 pm – Steph wakes to hear she is at 10cm and should begin to push. She does with every ounce the Phenergan will allow her to give. Mason does not budge one bit.
8:00 pm – The doctor has arrived and Steph has been pushing for the last 2 hours non-stop. He announces that the baby… is still not coming out. He uses a suction cup to grab Mason’s little head and yank him out by force….
8:20 pm – The doctor has unsuccessfully tried to yank Mason to the crowning stage with ZERO results. He is frustrated and Stephanie is completely spent. She has no more to give. The doctor is practically cursing at the uselessness of this new fangled suction doohickey. He ops to use forceps and breezes the option past Steph, who replies, “yes, do it, do anything I don’t care. Get him out”.
8:25 pm Mason Jacob Bennett is brought forcefully into the world. It is at this point Stephanie realizes that the epidural did not numb the last two inches for the birth canal. OUCH!
8:30 pm Steph is reunited with Mason and myself (I was filming Mason while he was with the nurses). Stephanie now wishes to drink juice like a camel who has not seen water in a year due to an insatiable thirst. We are now a happy family.
No comments:
Post a Comment